Soliloquy of the Solipsist

Waiting to hear back about job applications is awful.

I absolutely lovely my decision to study social work and pursue this area as my work path, but sometimes I really really wish I was doing other things (and I’ve only just graduated!).

Today a teachers resource book was delivered to work. It was the absolute highlight of my day, I kid you not. Full of crafty stuff, educational things and so, so much more. It made me wish so much that I was working in some kind of field where I could just do fun, creative, educational stuff with kids every work day.

Or I wish I could own and run a cute little bakery.

So many wonderful, exciting things I want to do, that are no what I do. I’ve been trying to think of ways I can incorporate fun, crafty, educational stuff with kids in my current work and I actually just can justify anything I want to do.

Sigh.

I’m having too many thoughts and feeling about the future and it’s just not productive.

Most importantly: it was a year ago today that I first hung out with Kris in person (at an Amanda Palmer gig). So much has changed because of that night; changed in good ways, changed for the best. It’s a really special feeling, the one that I feel. Xoxoxoxox.

Anyhow, soz for all the feelings.

When the things you wanna do conflict. And then you just get really sad.

I actually just need to learn to say no.

swingsetacrobat:

Not doing anything for anyone ever again unless your name is Loren ‘no middle name’ Littlewood, or Talia Ellen Barrett.
Fuck right off.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Rah, rah, rah, rah.

More and more I just realise that I don’t particularly care about being around large/ish groups of drunk people. I always feel so alone. Loneliness isn’t about how many people are/are not physically near you.